Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
