I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
