He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize