they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
