Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Alive.
So much puke
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
