I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
