God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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