She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Text me some of your sweat
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