Kiss
Puke
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
