ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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