i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
the day after is always just damage control
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
