Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I looked at my own cervix.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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