Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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