I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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