I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
