Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
