I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
