He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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