Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
This baby is an asshole
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
