I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
