Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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