so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
