absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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