Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i think i have herpe
just one?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
