Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
