i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
