We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
