how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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