Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
