I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
barbara walters just said penis...
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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