she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
