she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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