well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
