You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
