did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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