When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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