She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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