Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
