well I can't set my house on fire every night
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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