Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize