If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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