and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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