All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize