Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
