Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
