We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You're like the curious george of whores
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
