You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
