guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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