I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
