dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize