I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
