If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
