so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
