What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
