Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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