Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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