She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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