Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize