This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
