your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
And then he peed in my hair
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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