Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
