Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
