therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
