Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
