My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
