I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
